I've come to realize..

That some people are a lost cause. I have friends who, lately, have been talking about wanting to change their ways. Whether it be because they have a child on the way, or just need to stop behaving the way they do, they just can't seem to do it. They will talk a big game, but fold when it comes to the action.

"I'm ready to change. I NEED to change," they'll say. "No more drinks for me. I can't get high anymore. Don't have the money, and haven't been feeling well lately." Followed by, "but if you want to come smoke me out, that's straight." Or, "come buy your boy a drink down at (name a bar/club) tonight."


That sort of talk is not going to help you with cleaning up your act. Why would say you need to stop doing something, then invite people to do these things with you? You're not going to stop, even eventually, if you keep inviting people to partake with you. If you need to stop smoking, because you're broke, or you don't have a job and you need to pass a drug test, it's not gonna work if you say "come to my crib and blaze one with me." It's just not going to work.


I have tried to tell different people this. I tried to let them know that yes, you're going to have to make sacrifices. But the sacrifices are for the better. You're not going to be getting high. But you'll feel better. You'll be more efficient. You'll even think clearer. I know it's hard to believe, but you can do it. You can break this routine that you've developed. You're not going to want to, as you have become so used to it, that it's now second nature. But you HAVE to. You, in yourself, have to find the will power it takes to succeed. I am talking about personal excellence. Some people have it in them to excel and still be able to do these things, getting high, or drunk constantly. Most people do not. Most people need 100% devotion from themselves to reach their full potential.


It's not only about drugs or alcohol, either. Take a day and think about how you treat the people around you, or people in general. Are you a person that people want to be around? Are you a person that someone feels can share a worth while conversation? Are you someone that can make someone think with one sentence? Can you bring out the best in someone besides yourself? If not, then why not? What are you going to do in order to change that? What are you willing to do to change that? Are you willing to change yourself?


I'm not necessarily talking about a good job, or maintaining a friendship, or relationship. Those are included. In general, what kind of person are you? Are you what you always thought you would be? Chances are no. Percentages say no. Have you become someone you respect. Are you proud of yourself. Not


What goals have you set for yourself? For you? What do YOU want to do, and what are you doing to make it happen?

You can be successful in business and be a complete failure. Success does not equal happiness. It damn sure helps, but it isn't the only key. You don't NEED money to be happy. There is no doubt that does wonders to your self esteem for a while. But what are you doing with that money? Are you just paying your bills and getting by? Are you stuffing it all away in bank? Are you investing for your future? Has your future come sooner than expected? These are only a couple things to keep in mind every day.


Write down your goals. Seriously. Write them down, and put them in a place that you'll look at them every single day. On your bathroom mirror, a sticky note that you attach to your computer screen, the background on your cell phone, wherever it is that you look every single day. Seeing your goals in writing will make you hold yourself more accountable if you don't reach them. It will make you feel better when you look at your list, and realize they're no longer goals. You're now looking at a list of accomplishments.


But I'll finish with bringing it back to the original point I was trying to make before I got sidetracked. Some people just don't get it. They will. The timing might not be right. Maybe they need to wait until it's too late to make a significant change and realize they should have been trying to whole time. Words are worth their weight. You can talk all day, but what you do to back those words up make them mean something. Don't say you're going to do this, or not do that. Just do it, or stop doing it. Then you won't have to tell me, "Man I need to stop doing this. I need to start doing this." Because if you're talking like that, chances are you're too far gone for it to really matter.

It's Jimmy V Week

Starting today (the 28th) ESPN will be launching what is known as Jimmy V week. This will have footage of the coach, and information on his foundation incorporated in games throughout the week. This will include college games, pro games, football, and basketball alike. It will end with the showing of that 1983 NCAA championship game, December 4th on ESPN Classic.

If you don't know who Jimmy V is, let me help you out. Jimmy Valvano was, most famously, the head coach for the basketball team at NC State when they won their championship against Houston's Phi Slamma Jamma in 1983. He was stricken with cancer, and 10 years later at the first ever ESPYs was given the first annual Arther Ashe award, as Dick Vitale put it, "being a winner on and off the court." Jimmy V was very highly respected amongst his peers, his teams, and his opponents. The story goes that not long before the ESPYs, during a routine check up, it was learned that the cancer had spread throughout the coach's entire body. He became so weak that Duke coach, Mike Krzyzewski and his wife had to accompany Jimmy V on the flight from North Carolina to New York for the awards. Jimmy V was in a wheel chair at this point, and very, very ill. He was on record as saying all he could think about were his children. He had no desire to come to the ESPYs, as that would take away time from his children and family.

Well, he was convinced to accept his award in person, and gave one of the most hair raising, inspiring speeches of all time. Coach Valvano started the Jimmy V foundation shortly after being diagnosed. The foundation collects donations that go towards cancer research. To date, they have raised over $70 million. They have an annual dinner where different celebrities and coaches pay a certain amount per plate. They have an auction, and other fundraisers. Legend has it that as the event was ready to wrap up last year, Coach Krzyzewski, from Duke instead of handing the mic off, and closing down, he went on to raise $200,000 more dollars at the end of the night.


Here's the video of him running around the court after NC State upset Houston in the 1983 NCAA finals, which the image stays embedded in the minds of many as the coach "running around looking for someone to hug"
http://youtube.com/watch?v=t-ov74rxxy4


And here's the video of his speech at the 1993 ESPY awards.

With the Bad Comes the Good

We all know the saying "with the good comes the bad," right? Well does it have to be good before it can be bad? Or can a situation be bad, and turn to good? Kind of like saying what goes up must come down. But does that mean something can't start down and rise up? Just a thought.




Anyways, with all the saddening talk of Sean Taylor that has been dominating sports airwaives this week, we've missed a couple bright spots. Kansas City Chiefs O-Lineman Kyle Turley is stepping up and donating an entire game check to the 'Gridiron Greats' organization. He has challenged every player to donate at least a portion of their game check for this week to the cause. He has confirmed at least 20 players thus far, and is sending out a letter to every player in the league. Mike Ditka and Gale Sayers head the 'Gridiron Greats' organization which has petitioned the NFL and the NFLPA to increase disability benefits to not only current players, but former players as well.

This, ideally, helps former NFL players who are suffering from, and the lasting effects of, injuries sustained during their playing days. Some of these men don't have the means to pay for medical bills. The NFL, and the player's association doesn't want to give up more money than they already do to their former stars, and founding fathers of the game. There are players who have suffered, among many other things, concussions and have so many problems from chronic pain, to depression, to the point where a number have killed themselves. These former players suffer from injuries that leave them unable to join the work force. That shouldn't be a problem, because they made so much money playing ball, right? Well when you factor in the number of surgeries and other procedures that they need just to stay alive, some of these guys get completely wiped out financially.

Take Mike Webster, for example. He's a hall of fame center that played on the Steelers. He died, homeless, in 2002. He suffered from extreme mental illness which is attributed to injuries he suffered during his playing days. There are hundreds of stories similar to this one.

I'll be out on this Kyle Turley quote, which really hits the nail on the head:

"We make a lot of money playing this game and it's because of the guys that played before us. Are we going to wait until guys die? Are we going to wait until guys commit suicide before we make a difference and change this thing? If this system doesn't get fixed, no matter how much money you make ... you are a serious surgery away from being broke."

Another Day, Another Sad Story

So we all know that there are tons of things that go down every single day that would make your stomach turn. Early Monday morning, Redskins safety Sean Taylor was shot at his home in Miami. He was not with the team, because of injury, and that is the norm for the Redskins. But, the story goes, that 8 days before this, someone broke in to Taylor's home, went through his belongings, tried to get in to a safe. They didn't take anything, but left a kitchen knife on the bedroom pillow. No one was home at the time. Early Monday morning, Taylor heard someone in his house. He got the machete he kept under the bed for protection and went to lock the bedroom door. The door swung open, and 2 shots were fired, including the one that hit the 'Hitman' and got an artery. He passed early Tuesday morning. We all know this story by now. Something is fishy about this, though. It's being treated as a home invasion, but I don't see it that way. First, they broke in his house while no one was home and didn't take anything. That doesn't mold well with me. Second, his father is the chief of police in near by Florida City, and should have told Sean that this was no breaking and entering, or robbery. If it was, something would be missing. Something. Anything. Silverware. A TV. The family pet. Something would have disappeared. I don't know why his pops wouldn't Say, "listen son, you need a gun for protection right now. Someone came in to your home and didn't take anything. That means they were looking for you, not your things.

But here's my issue with this. He didn't have a gun in the house. After it got broken in to 8 days before that. I'm not putting that 100% on him though. The league doesn't want any of their players to have guns, even at their home, because they are so dangerous. They don't want their players to shoot anybody, even in defense because it shines a negative light on the league. But now, they are looking dumb because Sean Taylor was at home, in his bedroom and someone broke in his house. He didn't have a gun, and now one of their players is dead. The second NFL player in less than a year to be killed by the bullet (Darrent Williams). I would imagine the number of guns being purchased by NFL players are skyrocketing this week. You HAVE to be able to protect yourself. Florida has laws that would have made it 100% acceptable for Sean Taylor to shoot this man between the eyes. He would have never seen the inside of a jail. Not even for 2 seconds. At Sean Taylor's house, the first time it was broken in to, the phone lines were cut, disabling any communication with the security company. They phone company should have moved his box inside the house at that point. But now, the murder investigation starts, not the breaking and entering, or attempted robbery. Will this be another case that goes unsolved? Will it get preferential treatment because of his father's occupation? Was it over a girl? His fiance? Does she know who did this?


I think the NFL should have classes, or a symposium, about security. They have these meetings for rookies to give them basic knowledge of how their life is going to change since they are coming in to the NFL. They should have the same thing once a year for gun control. It's not illegal to own a gun, unless you're a felon, and the league shouldn't say that none of their players should have one, even at home, for protection. These players are at risk, more than the average person, even if they live in your average upper middle class neighborhood. I would say more so for robbery than a straight out murder, or attempt at harm, but you have to look at both sides of the blade being sharp in this case.

Any way you look at it, a man is dead, and a daughter will grow up with out a father.