The Real Reason Grown Men Love Halloween

The slutty costumes. It's true. I LOVE the slutty costumes. It's the one day a year that girls can dress like complete whores and nobody can call them on it. So, to all the slutty nurses, slutty maids, slutty butterflies, slutty cops, slutty firewomen, slutty teachers, slutty cowgirls, slutty devils, slutty angels slutty little red riding hoods, slutty racecar drivers (one of the most under appreciated costumes..mostly for the camel toe), slutty bunnies, slutty witches, slutty superheros, slutty military ladies, slutty prisoners, slutty pirates, slutty cheerleaders, slutty indians..oh sorry, Native Americans, and just good ol' slutty sluts...I would like to say thank you.


You make it easy to spot the sluts. Not to say that you're all sluts, but I'm just sayin. You're dressed that like and you get drunk, might as well be wearing a sign that reads "80% chance someone's gettin laid tonight. It could be you."


If you are a mother: DO NOT LET YOUR 12 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER DRESS LIKE A SLUTTY ANYTHING FOR HALLOWEEN. It's wrong. Plus, there are so many weirdos that would actually like looking at it. Chris Hanson isn't roaming the streets to catch predators, and protect your daughters. There are some weirdos out there and you don't think they're out trick or treating for little girls? You shouldnt let your daughters more provocotavly than you would if she was going to the movies. More importantley, I'm not tryin to see it. Keep your children dressed in kids costumes. There are plenty of good non slutty get ups out there for people under the age of 18 to leave the house in. Dress up as anything listed above, minus the slutty.